


Dear Evan Hansen

by lolwhat (JkWriter)



Series: Emails [1]
Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: And wrote a lot of emails to each other, Connor and Evan were actually friends, Letters, SINCERELY ME
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-23
Updated: 2017-11-22
Packaged: 2019-01-22 00:17:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,163
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12469228
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JkWriter/pseuds/lolwhat
Summary: Dear Evan Hansen,There are good days and there are bad days. Today is going to be a bad day.





	1. Chapter 1

Dear Evan Hansen, 

There are good days, and bad days. Today is going to be a bad day. I know you told be to be optimistic, but I can’t, and here’s why: 

I woke up to yelling. It’s pathetic. A little bit of yelling and I’m already done with the day. 

That’s a lie. It wasn’t a little bit of yelling. It was a lot. First Zoe because I slept in. I forgot to plug in my phone last night so it died. My alarm obviously didn’t go off and she treats it like it’s the end of the world. Then my mom. It was less yelling and more sounding disappointed which in my opinion is worse. 

Then Larry. 

God, I hate him. 

I can’t make him happy. Nothing I do ever seems to make him happy. I don’t know what to do anymore. I’m done trying. I’ve wasted too much of my life trying so something that’s not going to happen. 

But if I don’t try what do I do? 

I’ve always wanted to intentionally piss him off. Did you know that’s why I originally painted my nails? We were out one day and he saw a guy with his painted and complained the whole way home about how immoral it was and men shouldn’t do something so feminine. 

I stole Zoe’s black polish that night. 

Man, you should have seen his face that morning. I thought I was going to be kicked out of the house, especially when I refused to take it off. I think that was the last time Zoe stood up for me. She said it was my choice and I could do what I wanted. I was thankful for that. I never told her, don’t think I ever will. 

Where was I? 

 

Oh yeah, Larry. 

He’s still not over my hair. Said if I don’t do something to it he’d take away my laptop and phone. Like, what the fuck. Who the fuck cares if I grow my hair out? It’s none of his business and he’s over here acting like I’m attacking him. 

That’s not the worse part of the day. 

I broke our promise. 

I said I’d stop skipping school to get high, but I did. I’m so sorry. If you want to unfriend me, delete my out of your life, I understand. If I were you I would. 

I guess I should try and make it home in time for dinner. I’ll see you tomorrow if you don’t hate me. 

Sincerely,  
me


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Congrats on finishing junior year. One more to go and then we’re out of here. Which is kind of bittersweet. If I’m being honest I have no idea what I’m going to do after high school. Actually that was a lie. I never thought I’d make it out of high school. It’s pretty pathetic sounding but I always thought I’d be dead by seventeen.

Dear Evan Hansen, 

Congrats on finishing junior year. One more to go and then we’re out of here. Which is kind of bittersweet. If I’m being honest I have no idea what I’m going to do after high school. Actually that was a lie. I never thought I’d make it out of high school. It’s pretty pathetic sounding but I always thought I’d be dead by seventeen. 

I’m glad you’re here. God knows what I would have done if I hadn’t met you. 

I have an idea, but I don’t want you to worry about things like that. They’re in the past now. I couldn’t leave you alone, then your only friend would be Kleinman and he pisses me off. It’s still my goal to steal all friend status from him. He will be nothing in our lives. 

Unless you don’t want that. 

If you really want to be friends with him then I guess I can share. But he has to prove he actually wants to be friends with you. None of that “family friends” bullshit he likes to say. 

Anyways, enough about that. 

I heard you’re going to be working in the state park as a ranger this summer. That’s very you. Lots of trees. Try not to sleep with any (that was a joke). I’ll try and come visit you but my parents are very into college application season. They tried making Zoe apply last year. Apparently there’s some program where you can take college classes in high school and they wanted her to get ahead since I obviously had failed in that aspect. Zoe argued for jazz band and well, here she is only a rising junior. 

I’m going to be stuck at home most of the summer unless I decide to start looking at universities. I doubt I’d get in anywhere but it’s a nice thought. Maybe some school will look past all my suspensions. 

Have you thought about where you’re applying? You should do something with trees. You’re good at that. 

Gonna have to cut this short. Some family is coming over and I’m trying to make a good impression. Don’t need everyone in the Murphy family hating me. 

Sincerely,   
me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im doing this to pretend im not falling behind in my english class lol send help


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We’ve been way too out of touch, things have been crazy and it sucks that we don’t talk that much. 
> 
> Did you like my rhyming? It took far too long to put that together.

Dear Evan Hansen, 

We’ve been way too out of touch, things have been crazy and it sucks that we don’t talk that much. 

Did you like my rhyming? It took far too long to put that together. 

I don’t really have a reason for emailing you today other than the fact that we really have been out of touch. You’ve been busy and I get that, it’s just lonely here. I’m essentially on house arrest right now. Not sure what I did but in Larry’s eyes everything is a mistake. Except for Zoe. She could never be in the wrong (except she is a lot, don’t tell anyone this but I have plenty of blackmail material on her). 

How’s working at the state park? Whenever I manage to sneak out I’m going to come bug you. You can impress me with all your tree facts. I expect you to be taking over the world with trees by the end of summer. 

Things have been pretty rough lately. I wasn’t going to tell you, I know you worry, but if I didn’t say anything then you’d come over here panicking and then I’d start to panic trying to calm you down and that would be a giant disaster. My stash is running low, I’ve been on edge more. This morning I snapped at Zoe because she dropped her fork on the table. I hate it. She looks so scared of me all the time and honestly I don’t blame her. What kind of brother am I? 

I tried bringing up the whole therapy thing again. That didn’t go over so well. My mom supports the idea but Larry is against it, goes against his ideals of a “perfect family” I guess. It’s weird saying this, but I want help. I know something is wrong, normal people don’t threaten their sister for no reason other than her existence. 

I’m scared. Of what I might do to her. Of what I might do to myself. 

I don’t want to hurt anyone, but sometimes it’s hard not to. 

You should run while you still have a chance, before I taint you with my darkness or whatever. 

I’m going to go before this gets too personal or sappy. 

sincerely ,  
me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i have my piano exam in a week rip me


End file.
